200: Managing Change with Lauren Rose Eimers

Charlotte Ward: 0:13

Hello and welcome to episode 200 of the Customer Support Leaders Podcast. I'm Charlotte Ward. The theme for this week is managing change. So stay tuned for five leaders talking about that very topic. I'd like to welcome back to the podcast today, my very good friend Lauren Imers. Lauren, it is so lovely to have you back after a little break. Um different state in a different year, I think, since I last spoke to you.

Lauren Rose Eimers: 0:47

I know. I think we the last time we did speak was in the year, shall I even utter it, 2020. But yes, so happy to be here and happy to chat with you today.

Charlotte Ward: 0:56

Yeah, thank you so much. And so much change in that year, and so much change in all of our lives and in so many organizations. But luckily, that's what we're here to talk about today is managing all of that change, right? Um, so I I'm always super interested in your take on things because of your background, because of your kind of uh your academic uh backdrop of uh you know the counseling and our like our genetic like predispositions and our like our the way like we socially relate to each other and and relate to situations. I just think like I I've never had an uninteresting conversation with you. So let's think about change from that very human perspective first of all, and then like how we manage it or maybe help others in our team manage it.

Lauren Rose Eimers: 1:45

Absolutely, and thank I'm so flattered. That was such a lovely intro. Um, but and of course, I am going to come at this from a lens, first of all, is just how we as human beings deal with change. And research has shown that you know, we're we aren't great at it. We truly are creatures of habit, and it's a protective factor for us. Um, the brain always looks for situations previously in how we are going to deal with situations that we have at hand. And I will say making changes can seem so monumental because that energy needed to start that change, that energy needed to really get that change going and then stick with it, it's truly having to rewire parts of your brain. Um, and this is based in neuroscience where you have to basically create new neural pathways to start a new habit, to make a change and stick with it. And that's why even ancient practices such as yoga, um, kundalini yoga, for example, they make sure that you start a new practice and you stick with it for at least 40 days for certain things. If you if you can do 40, then they say try 90. If you can do 90, try a thousand. Because each of these time slots basically allows your brain to create those new neural pathways for change. And while I'm talking about yoga practices here, this actually holds true for practices that we can start in the workplace and on Teams. And a lot of us, as you know, weren't allowed the luxury of those 40 days or that 90 days or that thousand days to really um enact change. But what I have learned, especially this past year, is that if we give each other grace in the changes that we make and allow for mistakes and allow for wiggle room, there will be those new neural pathways that are carved out in your mind, in your brain, and people will become more comfortable with the quote unquote new normal that you're having to adopt.

Charlotte Ward: 3:56

Yeah, yeah. I I I like the idea, you know, just generally of encouraging people to just give change a chance. I'm I'm not a um, I don't practice any formal change management processes or disciplines, but my my whole personal approach to change is kind of let's try this thing. You know, you have to have enough conviction, enough belief that this is for the greater good. But but you know, and I guess obviously not all change is, but either let's try the thing or let's accept the change was forced upon us with as much grace and uh positivity as we can and try and make it work. And like if you can get that as I think this kind of maps to what you were saying, if you can get that going for a little while, it does start to stick, doesn't it? We do change our attitude to it as well as change our ability to perform the thing, behave the way, do the thing for, you know, as a matter of habit.

Lauren Rose Eimers: 4:55

Yeah, absolutely. And um kind of pulling from newer research, if you can stick to that new habit for about three weeks or get your team on board to try this new thing or this new protocol for just three weeks and then check back in and discuss it, you will find there will be less resistance after that three week, around that three-week um benchmark. And that truly is because it's enough time for your brain to create those new neural pathways, those new connections where your brain likes um things to be easy. I mean, I love things to be easy, but it also means it's going to trace and retrace those pathways that are well honed in your brain. So if I know how to do a thing in a certain way, having me do it in a different way is pretty monumental. Um, but if you can do it incrementally, if you can have that new initiative energy and have that stick around for that three-week period, you might find greater success in that change. Um, and this kind of brings me to the changes that we all had to mitigate. And they were big and small over the last year. But I think we've learned a lot in about the resiliency of how resilient we can be, how resilient our teams can be. Um, but I think it all harkens back to that word grace. We've got to give each other the space and grace to make those mistakes that happen in the beginning, um, to allow us to sit in that discomfort of that change, which is so hard to do. We don't like being uncomfortable either. But if we give us, if we give ourselves that time and that space to do so, um, change can happen. And we might be really pleased with the initiatives after that three-week-ish time period.

Charlotte Ward: 6:42

Yeah, that makes sense. Everything you said there about, you know, the brain wanting things to be easy, and and once you've trodden those pathways a few times, they they are easy to easy for the brain to find again. I'm I'm I'm slightly interested, I think, just to rewind a little in what it is about change that our brain specifically dislikes so much. It it prefers things to be easy. So there is that that familiarity with doing things the way we've always done them. But but what it what is the resistance to change bought to change born from? Is that born from a place of like fear of the unknown or fear of the success of the thing that we have to change to? Is it uh what what's your take on like what the and maybe they're different for different people, but what but what is what is that kind of set of what is that mindset that forms that resistance in general, do you think?

Lauren Rose Eimers: 7:41

Well, in psychology, it's called the ego, which the ego is here to protect us, but the ego will also tell us all sorts of stories to keep us from trying the unknown. The ego only likes the known because it's safer there. And it's it's very much um kind of that phrase a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush. That's the ego talking. The ego says it's safe here without me taking risks, without me trying something new, without me, you know, reaching out to see if there's something more. Um, and that's all right because the ego protected us back. I always hearken back to what we were doing as human beings back in the cave, cave person days. You know, there were cave people that didn't have that strong ego protective factor, and they were probably gobbled up by saber-tooth tigers pretty early on in their experience because they weren't scared to try the new things. Yeah. Um, so it's okay to be protective and to try to be safe and just to understand that it's normal to be scared about taking new steps, be it big or small. I know it can be scary to try, you know, a new browser on your computer. Like I have people that are 100% married to their browser and having them use something new because it might be faster or better to use with a certain application, it is like pulling teeth. Um, and that's okay. But I think once you recognize that everybody kind of struggles with this change, and then if you were to take small steps to try something new, um, you also build up that resistance to your ego talking back to you and saying, don't try that. Like that's so silly. Um, because there might be something even better on the other side. And if there's not, and we say this a lot in psychology, what's the worst that can happen? And usually it's not the worst thing that happens if you try that. It might, it might not be what you expected, but you certainly will learn from that. Um, and it can also inform your decisions moving forward. But it's it's definitely a way to help mitigate and try um to initiate change in your life.

Charlotte Ward: 9:51

Yeah. Um so many things you said in that last sentence just sounded like Dr. Pepper like Dr. Pepper slogans and jingles. Like and and I think maybe maybe change is the Dr. Pepper of library. It's like, until you try it, you don't really know. Like it's so misunderstood. What's the worst that can happen? All of these things will be familiar to Dr. Pepper lovers, such as myself, the world over. Um, but I don't I I'm so sorry to trivialise it in that manner, but it did put me on the kind of but to make it less trivial though, for a moment, you also reverse referred to change much more directly, aside from the Dr. Pepper allusions in that last paragraph. Um, you did also refer to change more seriously. Uh uh that people can have this kind of almost evolutionary perception of it as a saber-toothed tiger. And I think that's one thing I'd just like to kind of close out on with you is as leaders, how do we make any change that we want to um that we want to uh bring into being seem to be less of a saber-toothed tiger and maybe more of a juicy berry that you can pick from a tree?

Lauren Rose Eimers: 11:10

Um, I love this question, and I think this is it's wonderful to close out with this quick snippet about change. Um you have to have a strong foundation of trust with your team before you can enact change. And this is rapport and trust that you have built over time. And this is from anything from showing concern in your teammates, holding space for them when they're having a hard time, you know, doing what you say you're going to do as a leader, advocating for your team when things are hard. These are all little small chunks that you kind of put into this bank of trust. And once you have that bank nice and full and your team trusts you, then you can be the cruise director for where you're going to direct the ship. And just like a good cruise director, you're given an itinerary for the day, where you're going to go, ports you're going to stop at. I've never been on a cruise ship, by the way. I'm sounding so privileged right now, but this is how I imagine a cruise ship to be an inclusive cruise ship, hopefully. And this is where you are showing the path that you plan on going. And I think information can be so empowering. So instead of just bringing down an edict, this is how we're going to change things. This is what I mean, the change is happening, get on board or get off the boat. Instead, this is the change we're planning to implement. These are the steps we're going to take. We love the crew to be involved in these changes, and these are your specific tasks, and this is why we're headed to this direct, you know, destination. And a good captain, you know, she gives her her crew an idea of where they're going. And the map may change as you're going. But again, if you have that trust bank full, a good captain, a good leader has the trust of her crew before reaching that final destination, even if it does take twists and turns. So I think that's that's how we make it less of a saber-tooth tiger and more of hopefully a nice cruise ship vacation, where there are things that pop up that are unexpected along that path to initiating and really getting that new change. You know, those pathways, like I said, back to the neural pathways, um, those really set in stone. But I think it can be done. And I think it it comes with a lot of trust, advocacy, um, and rapport that you built with your team.

Charlotte Ward: 13:36

That's it for today. Go to customersupportleaders.com forward slash two zero zero for the show notes. And I'll see you next time.